The Meaning of Love
by PersonY2K
Summary: Love. Something Lizzie doesn’t understand clearly. But when Gordo says he loves her, will she able to love him back, or at least try? One-shot.


The Meaning of Love  
  
Summary: Love. Something Lizzie doesn't understand clearly. But when Gordo says he loves her, will she able to love him back, or at least try? One- shot.  
  
A/N: Own nada. Not even the name Peaches. Peaches is what my best friend Angela's brother (who's in college) calls his girlfriend. I own this theory of love, though. I made it up, and I think it makes perfect sense. But other than that... Lizzie McGuire is Disney's, even though they aren't really *friends* anymore. Okay, moving on... Have fun!  
  
***  
  
Love.  
  
It has more than one meaning.  
  
You can love some*thing*, like a song or a TV show, or food. That's basic love, and something that just flies out of your mouth without you even knowing it. It doesn't matter if you say, 'Ooh, turn it up, I LOVE this song!' That kind of love is simple.  
  
You can love a close friend, or family member. That gets a little more complicated. Your mother; you love her because she raised you, helped you become who you are. Same with your friends. That kind of love is appreciation.  
  
And then comes the love that is most intricate of all.  
  
Love for your soul mate.  
  
Most, actually 99% of people, misjudge that kind of love. They think if you have a boyfriend, and you make out every now and then, you love him. You could say, "I love you, Brian.", but you wouldn't mean it. Because that kind of love is different.  
  
According to me, love towards your boyfriend (or girlfriend) doesn't mean that you buy them flowers or tell them that they look nice. It means something... more complex than that.  
  
You should be willing to do anything for that person. Risk your life, even. Anything to make sure there is no harm to them, and that they stay happy forever. But you should also be able to joke around them without making them feel bad, and be able to talk like you are best friends.  
  
You see, inside of a husband and wife, or anyone that has true love in them, also lies a friendship. If that friendship is broken, so it the love. Love is built from friendship. The heart, the creator of love, is the friendship.  
  
Not many people love each other (the way I think it means) in this world, but if some are lucky... it happens.  
  
Gordo and I have all of that. I'm prepared to sacrifice anything at all for him, and vice versa. We have the strongest friendship ever made. We've been boyfriend/girlfriend for years and years now. There are never awkward pauses between us, and I feel so comfortable with being with him.  
  
So... why do I feel like I don't love him yet?  
  
***  
  
"...and I have one more present for you, Peaches." Gordo whispered into my ear.  
  
I blushed. "Miranda..."  
  
She smiled and left the room. "I'm gone." She said, closing the door behind her.  
  
"So, what's my present?" I asked.  
  
"Look, Lizzie... I don't know how to say this.." He said at the same time.  
  
It was my birthday. My last year in college at Yale. Miranda was my roommate, and Gordo was on the floor below. This morning he had come up extra early to help Miranda surprise me with a party when I woke up.  
  
We both stopped and laughed nervously.  
  
"So... Peaches, um..." He got down on one knee and revealed a diamond ring that hid in his left pocket.  
  
Oh no! Was he doing what I thought he was doing?  
  
"Elizabeth Brooke McGuire... I love you." He said with a hint of nervousness. "Will you marry me?"  
  
I froze. I was shocked. I was trembling.  
  
WHAT DID HE JUST ASK ME!?  
  
My head was spinning. Love? Did he just say that? He loved me? He wanted me to MARRY him? What was going on? Was this some kind of awkward dream?  
  
"Lizzie?" He asked insecurely.  
  
He meant it. He really did.  
  
This was not happening.  
  
I managed to shake my head in a tiny 'no', and dashed toward the bathroom, hiding the tears that were streaming down my face.  
  
***  
  
"I don't know what I did wrong." I heard Gordo talking to Miranda a couple minutes later. "Everything was going so well..."  
  
"Maybe she was just shocked."  
  
'No duh, Miranda.' I thought, drying my tears and fixing my makeup. 'You think?'  
  
I heard him sigh. "No... maybe she doesn't like me as much I thought she did."  
  
How could he say that!? I liked him more than anything! He was my everything!  
  
I unlocked the bathroom door and rushed out to him. "No! Gordo, I like you a lot! How dare you think that!" I exclaimed.  
  
Miranda looked scared, and knew that she should butt out for a couple minutes. "Guys, I'll be at the library." She said, running out.  
  
Gordo and I watched her leave, and after a few seconds of silence, he looked me straight in the eye. "*Do* you love me?" She asked. "Tell me the truth."  
  
My lip started trembling, and I knew I was going to cry. "I'm sorry." I whispered.  
  
He sighed and wrapped his arms around me as the tears streaked my cheeks. "It's okay." He said softly.  
  
Okay? How could it possibly be okay? He must have put his whole heart into that one line, and I rejected him big time. And he thought that was OKAY? Was he totally out of his mind?  
  
I shook my head. "No, it's not."  
  
He stroked my hair, which made me start to whimper. "Lizzie, it's fine. If you weren't ready for all that... I rushed things."  
  
Why was he blaming something that was my fault on himself? Rushed things? Right. I was the idiot, for running away like that.  
  
"No! Gordo. It's my fault. You didn't rushing anything." I said in a voice that was barely audible. "I... just... I don't know. I feel like I'm not ready. I know it hurts, but-but I don't love you. Yet." I said, my heart aching from the words that had just left my mouth. "At least not like... you know... that way."  
  
He smiled weakly. "I don't care."  
  
"Yes, you do."  
  
He looked at the ground and chuckled. "I guess I do."  
  
He loved me. He truly did.  
  
Why was that thought so hard for my brain to process?  
  
I smiled, and we just sat there, on the couch in silence for a few minutes. 'I love you. Will you marry me?' The words rang in my head like a school lunch bell. Over and over, until I couldn't take it anymore.  
  
"Gordo..." I said, taking a deep breath. "How long have you loved me? How long have you wanted to ask me that question?"  
  
He was silent.  
  
"Gordo." I repeated.  
  
He sighed. "I've loved you for about a year or two... and... Peaches, I just-I need to be around you. With you. All the time. I want to make you happy. And if you hat me now, I understand."  
  
"No... I don't hate you, Gordo. Never think that. I *can't* hate you. Even if I tried." I rested my head on his shoulder. "But... tell me something."  
  
"Anything."  
  
"How does it feel... when do you..." I needed to rephrase my question. "I guess what I'm trying to say is that when you fall in love... do you feel it? What does it feel like?"  
  
He rolled his eyes. "I can't believe we're having this conversation."  
  
"Gordo!"  
  
His face softened, as if he were trying hard to remember something. "Yeah, you definitely feel it." He chuckled. "I remember when I fell in love with you... I was so confused, but suddenly, it just-occurred to me that I needed you more than anything. It happens so suddenly, and not necessarily at a sentimental or romantic moment, just-all of a sudden. It feels like... you're a whole new person, and you would do anything to make them smile. Every move they make wants you to ask God what you did to deserve such a wonder... man, I sound like a poetry book, don't I?"  
  
I giggled. "Yes, but that's a good thing. It's beautiful."  
  
He looked me in the eye and kissed me. "I know you are."  
  
I blushed. Why did he always manage to make me do that?  
  
"Okay... so, Gordo... I'm sorry. I *want* to love you, I really do. I just don't." I said, aware that I wasn't making any sense.  
  
"It's okay. I don't want to push you into something you don't want. I'll wait forever if I have to. But I'll always have hope that one day, you'll say you love me too." He looked at himself strangely, and then at me.  
  
"The things you make me say, McGuire."  
  
***  
  
I felt incredibly guilty for what I had done over the next few weeks. Gordo and I still hung out, but I couldn't help but feel a little awkward around him. I mean, this as the guy who had asked me to marry him, you know. I couldn't just pretend like it didn't happen. I had broken his heart.  
  
Every morning I prayed that I'd fall in love, but it didn't happen.  
  
And what made it worse was that Gordo just kept on loving me, looking at me as if I was the answer to his prayers, just making be feel horrible. He held me, he kissed me, he loved me. And what did I do?  
  
Nothing.  
  
"Peaches, I have to tell you something." He said one day when we were sipping our chocolate smoothies.  
  
I closed my eyes and hoped that it wasn't as drastic as the *last* time he had asked me something. "Shoot."  
  
"I have a blonde joke for you." He said, smiling. "There were once three prisoners ( a blonde, a brunette, and a redhead) and the police were about to shoot the brunette when she yelled 'EARTHQUAKE!' and everyone ran away, hoping to escape the earthquake. She got away. The second one, the redhead was about to get shot when she yelled 'TORNADO!' and everyone ran away. She escaped, too. The blonde, seeing a pattern, got ready for when they were going to shoot her. The police went, 'Aim, ready...' and she screamed 'FIRE!'"  
  
I didn't laugh, although it was funny (even if I *was* a blonde). This was typical Gordo behavior. Telling jokes to hide what he really wanted to say.  
  
"Gordo... tell me what you were going to say." I said, frowning at him.  
  
"Okay..." He took a deep breath. "Well, you know Jeremy, right?"  
  
I nodded. Jeremy was Gordo's closest cousin.  
  
"Well, he wants to go camping together... and I couldn't say no. I haven't seen him for five years, so... you're not mad I'm going without you, right?"  
  
Mad? Why would I be mad? What possessed him to think *that*? "No, I'm not mad." I said, a little suspicious. Was he thinking this because I had gotten so upset over him asking me to marry him earlier?  
  
"Oh, good." He kissed me on the cheek. "You're great, Lizzie."  
  
Ooookay. Something strange was going on around here.  
  
A/N: There's nothing going on, I promise. I just wanted to add this scene for no reason.  
  
***  
  
I bounced a ball against my wall. Gordo was gone, and I had nothing to do but think. And that was a very bad thing. When I got time to think, I had to think about the thing that got on my nerves, loving Gordo.  
  
When was it going to happen? I wanted it to happen right now. Gordo was getting hurt every waking second that passed. I mean, I'd feel terrible if I loved someone and they didn't love me back.  
  
Gosh, I'd been using the 'l' word a lot lately. Every thought that popped into my head included that words 'Gordo' and 'love'.  
  
I needed to relax.  
  
I closed my eyes and visualized our wedding. Ahhhhh. Such a beautiful sight. I saw Gordo, in his tux smiling at me, and saying 'I do.' But then... that I saw next...  
  
It was my turn to say the last 'I do', and I was choking. Big time. Sputtering. Stuttering. Stammering. I saw myself run away, down the isle and out the doors of the church.  
  
"NO!"I got up in bed, snapping out of my daydream.  
  
Man, I needed a shower.  
  
I turned up the water on hot and sighed happily. That felt much better. I smiled at the thought of Gordo and I, splashing each other at the lake seven years ago, in tenth grade.  
  
*FLASHBACK*  
  
"Lizzie!" He exclaimed, soaking wet. "That's cold!"  
  
I grinned at him and he splashed me.  
  
"Gordo!"  
  
He smiled. "That's what you get for splashing me."  
  
I frowned. "Whatever." I said, and we continued to walk. a few seconds later, I got an idea.  
  
"Hey Gordo?" I asked.  
  
"Yeah?" He said, spinning around.  
  
I pushed him into the lake.  
  
He stood up, shivering. "LIZZIE!" He exclaimed.  
  
I chuckled. "That's what you get for splashing me." I said, and outstretched an arm to help him get out of the water. But instead of holding onto it, he pulled me in along with him.  
  
I landed right on top of him. "GORDO!"  
  
He smiled and put a finger to my lips. "Shhh." He said, and wrapped his arms around my waist and pulled me closer.  
  
I put my arms around his neck as we experienced our first ever French kiss.  
  
*END OF FLASHBACK* I sighed, rubbing in my conditioner. That was a truly amazing moment. Gordo was so sweet, so amazing, so cute... I wanted ot spend my whole life with him, just always by his side, having French kisses in the lake as often as possible.  
  
And then I felt it.  
  
I gasped. "Oh, my god." I said to the soap. "I love Gordo."  
  
***  
  
I rapidly threw on my clothes. No need to blow dry my hair, this was important! I needed to tell him NOW!  
  
I rushed to the elevator, pressing the down button. I must have pressed the level '3' button a thousand times before it actually got to Gordo's floor. I dashed out and knocked on room 208 so many times I thought my knuckles were going to bleed.  
  
Kenneth, Gordo's roommate, answered. "Oh, hey, what's-"  
  
"WHERE'S GORDO?" I asked breathlessly, cutting him off.  
  
"He's camping with his cousin Jeremy... didn't you know that?" Kenneth frowned. Oh, duh! I smacked myself on the forehead. Why didn't I think of that!  
  
I sighed and ran toward the elevator again. As son I reached the parking lot, I climbed into my car and started driving to Bishop Woods, a little forest that was a couple miles off, and where Gordo was. I was so frustrated that I almost went past a red light.  
  
The few minutes it took to get there seemed like days. It was going so slow! If I didn't tell him I loved him now, I'd go crazy.  
  
I parked in the parking lot and dashed out into the woods, calling his name. "GORDO!" I screamed, running as fast as I could. I swear I must have looked in every single camping spot before I found Gordo and Jeremy's.  
  
"...she's amazing." I heard Gordo's voice coming from behind a tree. I was about to reveal myself, but what he said next made me stay. "I can't live without her."  
  
I peeked around the corner to look at Gordo's angelic face, and heard him say more. "You know, it really hurt when she told me that she couldn't marry me, but I understand. She's not ready yet, so maybe I'll have to wait a couple years."  
  
Jeremy looked at him like he was insane. "She's just a girl, David."  
  
"No! She's not *just* a girl... she's a mystical wonder."  
  
I blushed. it's not every day someone calls you a 'mystical wonder'.  
  
"Whatever, man."  
  
"I just feel like being with her all the time, but I know I'm beginning to freak her out ever since I told her that I loved her."  
  
My jaw dropped open. How did he know that? Was I that easy to read? Or did he just know me so well?  
  
"Hey, Lindz would flip out if I told her that I loved her." Jeremy said, frowning. "I'm thinking of breaking up with her, anyway."  
  
Gordo still had that dreamy look on his face. "I wish she were here."  
  
I stepped out from behind the tree and smiled. "Hey, Gordo."  
  
His jaw dropped open. "What are *you* doing here?"  
  
Jeremy chuckled. "I'll leave you two alone." He said, getting up and walking into the forest."  
  
I giggled. "Want to take a walk?" I asked.  
  
He nodded, still confused. "What are you here for?" He said as we headed off.  
  
I grinned. This was it. "I realized that I forgot to tell you something." I stalled, hoping I'd find the right way to say it.  
  
"What?"  
  
"I love you, Gordo." I said in a whisper.  
  
He froze. "Really?" He asked, wide-eyed.  
  
I smiled and nodded.  
  
The feeling in the air was a little more than romantic, and a kiss, no matter how passionate, would not fit the mood. So I wrapped my arms around him and gave him a hug. A big, long, bear hug.  
  
I heard him sighed with happiness in my ear. "I love you too."  
  
We just stood there, hugging each other and resting each other's head on the others for about five minutes when I spoke up.  
  
"Hey, aren't you going to propose to me again?" I said, pretending to be offended.  
  
He laughed and got down on a knee again. "Hey, Lizzie, will you marry me?" He said, much casually this time.  
  
A tear ran down my cheek and I nodded. "Duh."  
  
He got up, and slipped the ring onto my finger. I stared at it. Gold band with three diamonds in the middle. My engagement ring. Wow, I never thought that would ever happen.  
  
I shook my head. "Can you believe it?" I said. "There's a creek." I pointed to the little creek that was right behind Gordo.  
  
"So?"  
  
I pushed him in, an he pulled me in, and we shared a sweet, long, passionate French kiss. No longer as me and my boyfriend, but as me... and my fiancé.  
  
"I love you." I whispered again.  
  
THE END A/N: Oh, my god, this is the most romantic fanfic I've ever written! I know it long, but oh so sweet! You like? Review! ^_^ 


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